Cap Nap
by Dark Lady Eris
Summary: A fanfiction pairing gone wrong, a box of pop tarts, some kink shaming, plotting, a bear, a pair scissors, and one tired old man who just wants a damn nap. STEVE/BUCKY WADE/PETER STUCKY WITH A SIDE OF SPIDEYPOOL DON'T LIKE DON'T READ


_Hello there! So I usually write Fast and the Furious fanfiction, this will be my first time slipping into the Marvel Fandom, I hope I did alright. I'm beyond nervous to post, I started out writing Harry Potter FF, and when I switched over to F &F I got a few comments telling me to stick with the fandoms I knew, and don't try to write for any new ones because I was just ruining them. Needless to say confidence was a little shot, so I'm asking that you please be kind, constructive criticism is always wanted, but not flaming please. To everyone that reads my F&F stories no worries, I will continue to write for that fandom, it is my main one, I just wanted to branch out a bit. I do not own any of the characters, or anything to do with the marvel universe. It is Stucky with a side of Spideypool don't like don't read, all other pairings are minor and not even really mentioned, its just that they are together in my twisted little head. Thanks for giving my story a chance, I hope you like it._

* * *

Steve stumbled into the main common area of the tower, stumbling was a bit a stretch, it was more like dragging his body over to the couch.

He threw himself down and let his shield fall down on the floor with a clang and sighed heavily. It wasn't an ideal spot to take a small nap, but after his last mission he honestly couldn't care that much. A couch to lay down on was better than sleeping on the ground outside of the tower, so he was pleased he had made it that far.

He closed his eyes and had just started to drift off when he heard a door slam open followed by the loud booming voice of Deadpool. "Oh metal man!"

Steve grunted and hoped that it sounded more like shut up than it really did.

"Wait," Deadpool said suddenly, "metal man could get us the wrong one, I mean we want the one armed metal man, not the Gryffindor mascot."

"Bucky?" Steve asked, against his better judgment, he really did know better than to engage.

Wade whipped his eyes around until they landed on the man lying on the couch. "Yeah! Where is that no good rotten Barnes?" He demanded angrily.

"He's on a mission," Steve said confused, "why are you looking for him?"

"Because of this!" Deadpool yelled out violently shoving a stack of papers into the Captain's face.

Steve looked up at the sheets of paper and read a few lines; honestly it did nothing to explain what is going on. "What is that?"

"This my dear delectable Captain Fine Ass is a FanFiction story, where that traitor is in love with MY Petey-Pie!"

Steve's eyebrows rose, "FanFiction? What is that?"

"Its stories, some are good, some are," he lifted up the pages in his hand, "like this," he finished with a hiss. "Some are even about you and Barnes doing the horizontal tango, can get quite graphic. Chapters and chapters about your amazing ass…ets."

Deadpool took a look around the room and seemed to deflate, "that's the second time I've spoken about your ass and he hasn't shown up to blown my head off, guess he really isn't here."

Steve huffed, "I told you that."

Deadpool was about to speak again but was interrupted by Peter flying into the room. "Wade," he called out, "I seriously do not like having to see your brain splattered on the walls when you piss off the fucking Winter Solider! It's just a story; you don't need to confront him about it."

"The injustice that happened in this story is worth it baby boy, he tried to break up our love, and set fire to our love shack!"

"He did what?" Steve yelled out.

"Oh hey Cap," Peter said just now noticing the other man. "It was just a FanFiction story; Bucky really didn't all of those things."

"I have it in black and white," Wade said waving the papers around in the air.

"What the hell is FanFiction?" Steve tried again, really hoping they could solve this quickly and he could go back to trying take that nap.

"It's different stories about characters or people written by fans. Like fans of Star Trek might write stories about the movies or shows, where different things happen than what actually did." Peter explained.

"And people write about us, the Avengers?" Steve asked shocked.

"Yes, they might write different pairings, like there are tons of stories out there about me and Wade being together, they call it Spideypool, or you and Bucky they call it Stucky. Some authors like to write odd pairings however and you sometimes get stories like the one Wade is complaining about. Where they wrote a story about Bucky being in love with me."

"Well that's just plain ridiculous, no offense kid but I've had that jerk's heart since 1930," Steve said with a look on his face that said he thought this whole conversation was stupid. "So why is he mad? If this was written by some random person and it isn't even true?"

"He gets very jealous," Peter deadpanned. (See what I just did there, deadpanned, standing next to Deadpool? Yeah I know not that funny, back to the story.)

"Hmm," Steve nodded, "I could see that, Bucky is actually very jealous."

"I know, he literally shoots me every time I talk about your ass," Wade grumbled bitterly.

"Maybe you should not do that then," Steve pointed out ever the voice of reason.

"Just can't help myself it is the second best ass in the history of asses. I mean seriously perfe..."

"Wade shut up!" Peter hissed looking around nervously.

Deadpool laughed, "relax baby boy he's not here."

"Look," Steve said really try to hold on to his patience and not yell, "I really just want to take a na..."

A loud crash came from the kitchen; it startled Peter so much that he jumped up and attached himself to the ceiling. Steve tried to lift up enough to look around, but his exhausted body wasn't having it. "Peter go see what made that sound," he said instead.

"Yeah scaredy-spider," Wade teased.

Peter didn't have to go far, because the two responsible for the crash started yelling loudly and made their identities know.

"They are my pop tarts Thor!" Clint yelled out.

"You are mistaken bird man! They are mine! I even put my name on them as the Midgardian custom demands!"

"They were mine before you put your name on them! You can't go around just putting your name on them when they belong to someone else first. It doesn't work that way."

"I shall fight you to the death for these pop tarts!" Thor bellowed out.

"Oh jeez," Steve said with a sigh, wondering if his conscious would make him feel guilty later if he turned over and went to sleep and let the two idiots kill one another for a stupid pop tart.

"What the hell is going on here?" Tony called out stepping off the elevator. Followed by Sam and Natasha, who were whispering to one another, looking entirely too mischievous for anyone's own good. Steve could see the signs of a plot even from his spot on the couch.

"Look everybody I'm really exhausted," he tried to explain.

"Well take a nap," the smart ass genius replied. "Wilson what in the fuck are you doing in my tower?"

"I'm trying to, but your all being just a little to..."

"Not now Capsicle!" Tony yelled out. "I've told you countless times that you can't be here, how did you even get in here? JARVIS?"

 **"I can assure you sir I have no idea how Mr. Wilso..."**

Deadpool made a loud coughing sound.

 **"My Dope Ass Fresh Prince gained access to the tower once again."**

"Well that's just great!" Tony said throwing his arms up in the air. "It's not enough that you defile my intern on a regular basis, and in the tower of all places! Oh and the sexting dear god help me, I pick up Peter's phone one time and I'm scared for life. I did not need to know you two have a daddy kink!"

"Tony!" Peter yelled out, face a shade of crimson that probably traveled all the way down his body.

"Please stop," Steve tried and failed.

A blur passed by the couch, a blur that could only be Pietro using his super speed to run. The reason for his running made a lot of sense when Wanda came in running after him with a pair of scissors floating beside her. "I will cut all of your precious hair off," she spat while trying to corner her brother. "How dare you rip the head off my Vision bear!"

"Oh dear lord," Steve said looking up at the ceiling, "take me now."

His pleas fell on the deaf ears apparently because he was just alive enough to hear Clint shout once again. "I will shoot you with an arrow Thor, I'm not playing games here."

"I will have that last pop tart!" Thor yelled back followed by some loud crashes that could only mean the kitchen was being destroyed, again.

"Please be quiet," Steve said loudly.

Everyone ignored him, and continued fighting amongst themselves. All but Sam and Natasha who were still whispering with their heads shoved together.

"I'm only going to ask nicely one more time," Steve warned. "All of you please be quiet so I can take a nap."

"I can't believe you said that in front of everyone Tony!" Peter yelled his face buried in his hands.

"He's just jealous baby boy, I bet Pepper doesn't call him daddy."

"Out!" Tony yelled and pointed at Wade. "Out!"

"It's just a stupid bear!" Pietro whined while running to the other side of the room. "Not as important as my hair you witch!"

"It was a gift! Vision gave me that bear!" She yelled back scissors flying around the room at a speed Steve wasn't comfortable with at all.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Steve screamed loudly, his voice echoing off the walls of the common floor, causing everyone to turn to look at him in shock. "Tony, Wade, go stand in opposite corners," he growled.

Tony scoffed, "if you think I'm going to put my nose..."

"Do it NOW, both of you," he commanded once again in the voice that made it easy to see how he put the fear of god into Redskull and a bunch Nazi's everywhere back in the day.

Both Tony and Wade had their noses pressed up against a corner of the room before they even realized they had moved.

"Thor, Clint both of you come in here and you sit down now, and let go of the damn pop tart box. Wanda, Pietro front and center!"

No one thought twice about arguing with the Captain lying on the couch. His voice was commanding and if they were being honest with themselves more than a little scary.

"I'll start with you Tony; we call Wade in to help with missions often he has every right to be here. Him and Peter are dating Tony, which means yes…they fuck," everyone gasped at Steve and he rolled his eyes. "It's not any of your business and you certainly shouldn't bring up what they chose to do in private if it makes them uncomfortable." Wade let out a giggle and Steve corrected himself, "if it makes Peter uncomfortable."

Peter would have nodded in thanks, but the shock of hearing Captain America say fuck was just too much for him.

"Wade I don't even know where to begin, the FanFiction crap you came in yelling about, or the amount of ass comments you made in the half hour alone. I honestly don't think you listen to me when I do lecture you, so I'm just going to let Peter handle this one."

Peter crossed his arms and gave his boyfriend's back a dark glare that he know was felt by the way the man shuddered against the wall. "It will be handled."

"Thor, Clint, I don't care whose box of pop tarts they were, I don't care who eats the last one. All you had to do was ask Jarvis to get more pop tarts and they would have been here in five-ten minutes. There is no reason for you two to be fighting like two ten year olds. Get some more pop tarts or don't, find something else to eat I DON'T CARE as long as you stuff something in your mouths so you can't talk anymore."

Both Thor and Clint looked down at shame, if it was because of their behavior or that fact they didn't think about just ordering more pop tarts no one knew.

Steve lifted his head as far as he could and put on the best 'I'm very disappointed in you' look he could muster. "Wanda I don't care what Pietro did, you do not use your powers to chase him around with a pair of scissors threatening to cut his hair! Hasn't anyone ever told you don't run with scissors! You're going to poke someone's eye out!"

Wanda looked like she was about to speak, but Steve wasn't in the mood to hear it. "Pietro stay out of your sister's room, and don't go around tearing up her things. Now you find a needle and thread and sew the head back on her Vision bear!"

Pietro grimaced, "I can't sew," he said petulantly.

"Then it's time to learn," Steve said, "in my day a man knew how to sew so when he popped a button or got a hole in his pants he could fix them himself if he didn't have a wife. It was called being responsible, you try it son." He turned away for Pietro and turned his head slightly to the side to look at Natasha and Sam. "You two," he said surprising both of them. "You two have been walking around acting suspicious as hell; I don't know what you two are doing..."

"Steve we were..." Sam tried to explain.

"I don't want to know, I just don't want to have to clean it up, or listen to it. All I want to do is take a damn nap."

Tony took a step back from the corner and looked at Steve from over his shoulder. "Alright we get it Captain Pissy Pants, you're an old grandpa and you need your nap."

Everyone let out a nervous chuckle until they heard the deep growl that left Steve's mouth. "Did I say you could get out of the corner son?" He asked with a dark glare that had Tony quickly returning to his previous spot. "Five days," he said harshly. "I've been on a mission for five days, that's five days and nights of no sleeping, no eating, hell I didn't even get to stop moving the whole time. I'm tired and every muscle in my body hurts so damn bad I barely made it to this couch. Now that I've laid down all the muscles are cramped up so horribly that I can't move. If I could trust me I'd be in my own damn bed right now that's for sure, but no I can't move so I'm stuck here listening to all of you behave like children! On top of that I got shot three times, and I have two broken ribs! I know this for sure because the damn shield doctor poked them repeatedly to tell me so, like I couldn't feel it already without him jamming his damn fingers into them. Now I'm going to lay here and I'm going to go sleep, and every single one of you is going to shut the hell up, because I may not be able to move too fast but I sure as hell can find a way to end all of you if I don't get some sleep!"

The silence in the room was deafening, and Steve smiled to himself and snuggled farther down on the couch. It was broken however by the sound of heavy footsteps that stopped next to the couch Steve was lying on. He felt a large hand settle in his hair and practically purred in happiness. "Buck," he whispered while opening his eyes, "I thought you were on a mission."

Bucky let out a small chuckle and knelt down next to Steve's head and shot him a large smile. "I just got back, right in time to get a message from Sam that you were tearing everyone's heads off." He looked around the room in amusement, when his eyes landed on Stark and Wade his eyebrows shot up. "Can't say I believed it, but I caught the last bit of your rant, they all look terrified by the way I'm very proud." The praise had Steve smiling slightly. "Care to tell me why Stark and Deadpool are in a corner?"

Steve gave Bucky the most pitiful look anyone had ever seen. Bucky's heart clenched at the exhaustion and pain on his love's face. "I'm just so tired Buck, I just wanted a nap, and they won't shut up," he whined.

Bucky nodded, he stood and slid his arm underneath Steve's knees and around his back to haul him up and into his chest. Steve wrapped his arm lightly around Bucky's neck and snuggled as close as he could into his warmth. He flinched slightly from his ribs being jostled which cause Bucky to frown in concern.

"You okay baby, I'm not hurting your ribs am I?" He asked in concern.

"I just want to take a nap," Steve said quietly again almost like he was pleading.

"I know baby doll, I know," Bucky said gently. "I'm going to take you away from all the big mouth babies so you can." When everyone started to protest he looked up at them with a snarl on his face that shut them all up quickly. He turned around and started to walk to the elevator while talking in a low smooth calming voice, "how about a nice hot bath first Stevie, you can soak relax your muscles, you don't even have to stay awake, I got you doll." Steve made a small slur sound that sounded like a yes, so Bucky continued. "Then we can get a bit of food in you, you can sit in my lap and I'll feed you, sound good?"

"Food?" Steve asked quietly.

Bucky chuckled, "yes doll food, and then you can go to sleep."

"Will you stay with me?"

Bucky looked down at Steve's face, large hopeful blue eyes, bottom lip being chewed on something fierce. There wasn't a chance he was going to say no in the first place, but after seeing that look he certainly wasn't. "Of course, I would never leave my best guy would I?"

He turned around just as he got to the elevator and stared harshly at everyone in the room. "I'm taking him upstairs to sleep, just remember noise carries. No screaming, no yelling, no throwing things and breaking them, and no explosions," he said the last part staring at Stark in particular. "If any of you wake him up I swear I'll show you why people feared me for 70 years, got it?"

Everyone nodded quickly and Bucky didn't waste any time calling the elevator. He stepped in as Pepper was stepping out. "Ms. Potts," he greeted.

"Uhh, James, Captain," she said looking a bit surprised at seeing Steve curled up in Bucky's arms.

The elevators doors closed and Pepper shook her head slightly. When she saw Tony her shock returned, "Tony why are you in a corner?" She asked loudly.

"Shhh!" Everyone in the room told her.

"It's Cap's nap time," Tony whispered just confusing Pepper more.

"I'm not sure what's scarier," Wade commented nose finally out of the corner. "Captain America when he's tired and all threatening, or the Winter Solider making death threats while he's cradling cranky Cap's fine ass."

"Wade!" Peter hissed.

"What baby boy, you know I think your ass is number one, no need to get all jelly." He said flinging his arm around Peter's shoulders.

"That's not it!" Peter slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Seriously Wade he just threatened us and you're going to talk about Cap's backside again?"

"It's not like he can hear m..."

 **"Excuse me My Dope Ass Fresh Prince,"** Jarvis interrupted Deadpool. **"Sergeant Barnes has asked me to give you a message."**

"Oh shit," Wade said looking nervous.

"What is it Jarvis?" Peter asked glaring at Wade.

 **"Run,"** Jarvis said in a bored English accent.

"You heard the man Petey-Pie we gots to go, we gots to go!" He said practically pulling Peter's arm out the socket in his rush to get out the tower.

* * *

A showered and fed Captain America laid snuggled tightly in Bucky's arms. He sighed in complete and utter happiness at the lack of noise. "You're the best," Steve said as he snuggled down even further into Bucky's chest. "My hero."

"Stevie you made Deadpool and Tony Stark stand in a corner, you're my fucking hero." Bucky said with a chuckle, giving the blonde a squeeze.

Steve opened one eye to look at Bucky in a squint, "seriously after everything I've ever done, that's what does it for you?"

Bucky chuckled and leaned into kiss the top of Steve's head, "take your nap punk."

"Love ya jerk," Steve replied voice already heavy with sleep.

"Love you too baby doll, always have always will."


End file.
